Wedding planning
How to plan an intimate wedding
Choosing the right room, planning a good meal and making time for a smaller guest list.
A smaller wedding gives you a different set of choices. You may be able to use a private dining room, sit at one table or spend more time with each guest. The appeal is often that closeness, rather than a smaller version of a large reception.
Start by deciding how you want to spend the day together. A garden ceremony followed by lunch needs a different plan from a late dinner with speeches and dancing, even if the guest count is the same.
01
Find a room that fits the group
Ask for a floor plan with your actual guest numbers. Check the space around the table, the service routes and where drinks will happen before everyone sits down. A room can feel too large or too cramped despite having the right stated capacity.
Private dining rooms, garden restaurants and smaller estate spaces are worth exploring. Ask whether other diners or events will be nearby, and visit the wet-weather option as well as your preferred setup.
02
Spend time on the meal and service
With fewer guests, you may be able to plan the menu around particular tastes or share dishes that mean something to you. Talk to the chef about dietary requirements, how food will be served and the pace between courses.
Check the complete cost before assuming a smaller wedding will be cheaper. Minimum spends, exclusive hire and fixed supplier costs can still be substantial. Decide where personal touches would make the most difference, whether that’s a favourite wine or a note at each place.
03
Consider the whole table
Set out the linen, flowers, glasses and stationery together. Include the plates, bottles and serving dishes that will be added during the meal; they take up more room than an empty-table photograph suggests.
Keep arrangements at a height that allows conversation across the table. In a smaller room, the furniture, walls and windows may already provide enough character, so you can be selective about what you add.
04
Arrange the ceremony for the people attending
Talk with your celebrant about where guests will sit, who needs a reserved place and how you’ll enter. A smaller group may suit a different arrangement from conventional rows with a long aisle.
Allow your photographer room to move without passing closely in front of guests. Around three metres between the couple and the first row can be useful in a larger setting, but the actual layout should suit the room, the ceremony and everyone’s access needs.
05
Tell your photographer about the relationships
Share the family and friendship groups you’d like photographed, using names where possible. With a small gathering, portraits of individual guests or a whole group together can be particularly worth planning.
Also allow for photographs of the room before dinner and of the two of you. Once the meal begins, the conversations and reactions around the table become a large part of what your photographer is watching for.
06
Decide how you want the evening to develop
You might want dinner to last most of the evening, or you might prefer a shorter meal followed by dancing. Make that choice early so the venue can plan service and the room layout accordingly.
A few speeches can work beautifully at a small table. Agree their order and timing with the host and kitchen so food isn’t waiting while someone speaks. One or two grouped blocks can leave longer stretches for conversation.
Make the most of the smaller gathering
Choose a setting that fits, give the meal proper attention and plan the photographs you’ll value. You can then spend the day with the people you invited, in the way you intended.
Common questions
How do we make a small wedding feel like an occasion?
Choose a room you love, plan a meal you’re excited to share and give guests clear information about the day. Formal clothing, personal details and good service can all contribute without requiring a larger guest list.
Is an intimate wedding always less expensive?
No. Check minimum spends, venue hire and fixed supplier costs. Compare complete proposals for your numbers before deciding what the smaller guest list makes possible.